As I lay down, listening to the smooth sounds of whatever playing
I contemplate life, what I’ve said and what I’m now saying.
Life had recently been a whirlwind, in which I’m in the middle and standing.
Watching as this and that flies by, getting blinded by the flashing lights.
And ever since my first love, I’ve been scared of heights.
Scared to take a chance, hesitant to take flight.
That’s why I keep my shoes tied tight, can’t trip or fall into nothing as long as I step right.
Some days, I wonder about her. And dream about her at night.
Nightmares of her living a happy life while I’m sitting here in darkness as I write.
Music calms my mind and speaks to my soul.
Random statements making sense, speaking to a being so cold.
This happened years ago and I’m still troubled.
It was the highest high I ever felt so the pain from the fall was doubled.
Wasting idea space in my mind and rewinding the days that we were coupled.
It’s 4 in the am and I’m wide awake.
As much as I want to move past this, it’s a struggle to shake.
Semester finally over and time for a brief break.
Whenever I get mad, I drink milkshakes.
I’m a sucker for thick women with great personalities.
My bed is the dream state and the floor is reality.
Just trying to become what I’m meant to be.
Shoe addiction slightly hindering me.
When the next ones come out?
29? I thought there was only supposed to be 23.
Coming to the end of this and it needs a resolution.
Trying to make my dreams burst into fruition.
But my ass enjoys this cushion and my eyes enjoying the way all this tumblr ass is looking.
Jazz instruments serenading my thoughts.
As I thirst follow, comment and whatnot.